Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Water With Lemon

I know what you are thinking. "Why a whole article dedicated to water with lemon, sarcastic server?". Well, dedicated reader, allow me to elaborate. When a customers water with lemon, I'm not bothered. However, if a customer chooses to order water with *extra* lemon, I'm immediately annoyed. I'll start off by bringing one or two extra slices, hoping to satisfy his or her sour craving. I once had a woman request almost an entire lemon to go with her glass of free water. When I returned to take her order, I saw mounds of empty sugar packets. This restaurant faux pas is widely known as making "Ghetto-Aid". This irks me to no end. Why? Because we serve lemonade. Already prepared. I can bring it to you. I've offered it to this particular patron before, and she declined. Why? Because she didn't want to pay for it. I informed my boss that if the woman insists on making her own lemonade, I will charge her for one. The price of produce is going up for restaurant operators, and it is unfair to expect almost an entire lemon for your water, along with a large amount of sweeteners to go with it. Let me be clear: I have absolutely no qualms with bringing you an extra slice or two of lemon to flavor your water. I do have a problem with you making your own little lemonade stand at my table. Don't like the flavor of water? Don't order it. Simple.

5 comments:

  1. I say that last part all the time--if you have to have a fuckton of lemons in your water, you must not actually like it. Cough up the two bucks for something you do like, dammit.

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  2. In addition... seriously you need 14 packets of sugar for you ghetto-aid/ice tea? FYI only a certain amount can be absorbed before saturation occurs... ie all that f'ing sugar in the bottom of your glass was not absorbed. I have been out of the industry for a couple of years now and that sh@% still pisses me off when I see people at the restaurant I am eating at do that.

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  3. on the same note---well sort of--- working at a nonspecific italian place we get the table of 15 (only one person deigns to speak to you) all waters no ice, minestrone soup (unlimited), eggplant parmigiana, all of this about ten till close when *shocker* the soup is basically put up and the kitchen clean...sigh

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  4. down here in FL we call it a "Boca Cocktail".do you think those lemons grow on trees? they don't. they come in boxes. expensive boxes. but my fave is when they bring their own packet of crystal light.

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